Pastoral Care (Oversight)

Eldering is about the spiritual care of the community and its individuals. Pastoral care is about tending to the emotional and tangible needs of Friends. Through pastoral care, we open ourselves to knowing one another in the nitty-gritty of our daily lives. Both are important to creating intimacy and trust in authentic community. In my way of seeing it, eldering is about helping one another grow into the person God is inviting us to be and pastoral care is about supporting one another in our humanness.

I have often experienced good pastoral care. There was the time my family was in turmoil and I arrived at the meeting house feeling the need to be with my community but so ungrounded that I couldn’t even enter worship so Christina walked around the neighborhood with me, listening as I poured out my sorrow and worry. And the time a couple of years later when I had been laid off from my job and was on the cusp of being divorced and homeless when Frank and Nancy offered me and my child a room in their home for as long as we needed. And then two years later when my new spouse Mark and I were able to provide Marilyn with a place in our home when she had nowhere to live. And how she would pray with us, teaching us anew how to pray aloud with and for one another.

Emily Provence wrote a clear description of the work of oversight among Friends on her blog Turning, Turning:

In early Quaker days, ministers preached, elders cared for Friends’ spiritual condition, and overseers cared for Friends’ physical condition.

Overseers made sure Friends had food, children had schooling, and imprisoned Friends got visited. This was super important when Quakers were being persecuted and lost jobs or couldn’t send their children to non-Quaker schools. Like ministers and elders, overseers were named according to their spiritual gifts. It was not a temporary role; it was a recognition of who someone was created to be. The changes happened slowly, but by the 1960s, ministers and elders and overseers in most places weren’t named roles anymore but committees called Ministry and Oversight. The committees tried to do most of the traditional roles of ministers, elders, and overseers. “Overseer” and “oversight” have strong associations with slavery, especially in the United States. Friends’ use of the word was not connected, but nevertheless many found it jarring and hurtful, so we started saying “pastoral care” or “Ministry and Counsel Committee.” The word still appears in many Faith and Practice books.

Elders are important in Quaker communities. Pastoral caregivers are equally important. Beloved communities are made when Friends know one another both in the day-to-day of their lives and also in that which is eternal. Most of us need both in order to feel we are know and really belong.