Meet at least once a month for at least 2 hours (20-25 minutes per person)
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- Can be in person or in Zoom

Take turns acting as facilitator. Use a timer to stay on schedule.
Schedule the time more-or-less like this:
- Arrive a few minutes early so the gathering can begin on time
- 5 minutes for worship
- 5 minutes to review the structure and divide the time
- Short break midway through
- Divide the remaining time between the number of people
- Figure in a couple of minutes of worship/silence between presenters
- Each person can say whether they want reflections and questions or not.
- If they want reflections and questions, divide their time in half with the first half being their time to share and the second half inviting the wisdom of the group.
Guidelines for spiritual formation groups:
- This isn’t about fixing or problem solving or advice giving. It is about witnessing and holding in the Light. As Douglas V. Steere said:
To “listen” another’s soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another. But in this scrutiny of the business of listening, is that all that has emerged? Is it blasphemous to suggest that over the shoulder of the human listener, there is never absent the silent presence of the Eternal Listener, the living God? For in penetrating to what is involved in listening, do we not disclose the thinness of the filament that separates person listening openly to one another, and that of God intently listening to each soul?
- As witnesses, we de-center ourselves and our needs so we can center our attention on the needs of the person sharing until it is our turn to be the center.
- If we are listening to another in our group and find something within ourselves begging for attention, we can internally acknowledge it and then mentally set it aside to attend to later, either when it is our turn or at another time.
- When the focus person invites reflections and questions, we should not ask questions from our own intellect or experience but rather we allow questions to come through us for the other. This is an opportunity for the listeners to practice allowing “that of God” in them to connect with “that of God” in the focus person.
- To reflect what has been said, we should succinctly paraphrase what we heard without judgment or comment. “As you talked about which job to take, what I think I heard in your description of the first one was a desire to be in community and in the second, I heard your deep appreciation for nature. Did I hear you accurately?”
- On Parker Palmer’s courageandrenewal.org website, he says this about the kinds of questions that we may ask [I added the bold for emphasis]:
What is an honest, open question? It is important to reflect on this, since we are so skilled at asking questions that are advice or analysis in disguise; e.g., “Have you ever thought that it might be your mother’s fault?” The best single mark of an honest, open question is that the questioner could not possibly anticipate the answer to it; e.g., “Did you ever feel like this before?” There are other guidelines for good questioning. Try not to get ahead of the focus person’s language; e.g., “What did you mean when you said ‘frustrated’?” is a good question, but “Didn’t you feel angry?” is not. Ask questions aimed at helping the focus person rather than at satisfying your curiosity. Ask questions that are brief and to the point rather than larding them with background considerations and rationale—which make the question into a speech. Ask questions that go to the person as well as the problem—for example, questions about feelings as well as about facts. Trust your intuition in asking questions, even if your instinct seems off the wall; e.g., “What color is your present job, and what color is the one you have been offered?”
- Be comfortable with silence. If the focus person seems to run out of things to say, continue to hold the space for their entire sharing time, understanding that Spirit is always present and perhaps working in subtle ways.